


Mask

by Crazy_Pairing_Person



Series: The Issues Squad [1]
Category: XOXO Droplets (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexuality, Crying, Depression, Established Relationship, F/M, Fainting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Mostly Gen, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Prom, Secrets, Serious, senior prom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29413632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_Pairing_Person/pseuds/Crazy_Pairing_Person
Summary: Somehow, when it's herself being hurt, she can pretend much easier. She can act like she really is that dumb and full of herself that all those insults and backhanded comments don't hurt.When it's her friend who's in pain, she suddenly can't pretend anymore.
Relationships: Everett Gray & Main Character | JB, Everett Gray/Nate Lawson, Jeremy King/Main Character | JB, Main Character | JB & Everyone
Series: The Issues Squad [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2160804
Kudos: 3





	Mask

The thing is, JB knows why people think she's so shallow. She puts on that front, so she _knows_ she has to deal with the repercussions of it. It's easier to go with it than to say that she doesn't like dealing with horrible, sad stuff.

She knows that doing that makes people think she has no substance, though. She knows that they think she's all about hot guys, and having a good time, and anything that makes _her_ feel good.

She pretends it doesn't bother her most of the time - because it's easy that way, it is.

But it's hard, too. Because this one time she actually wants to help her damn friend with something she knows must be hurting him deeply - he brought it up in the first place, after all, and why would he do that if it didn't hurt a lot? He's not the type to go whining about literally everything in the world, like her boyfriend is.

But this one time, of course, is the time her mask is going to make things harder for her.

Her hand shakes. She has to set her phone down.

She counts to three, and then picks it up again with a slightly steadier hand.

_'I get it. See you around, then, Im sure Nate will tell you how prom is anyway'_

The reply she gets is instant, short, and painful.

_'whatevs'_

* * *

"Lynn, I-"

"JB, we agreed that you wouldn't eat in here anymore," Lynn says patiently, giving her the same smile he gives everyone else. She forces a smile and pretends to laugh.

"Ha... Right, we did. But that's not it. I need your help with something."

Lynn must sense something - bless his soul, truly - because he immediately perks up. "Are you hurt or injured?"

"No."

"Sick?"

"N-no..."

She almost expects him to brush her off again when she confirms that's not what she needs. But he doesn't. She almost cries. "It's, uh. Everett." She steps firmly into the office and goes to sit down at the desk, already pulling out her phone. But she freezes, and her eyes dart up to his face.

"You cannot tell him I showed you these texts."

"I won't."

"You can't, Lynn, I swear."

"I won't, JB, I promise."

Her hand shakes. "He already... He already told me, and I don't want him to regret trusting me."

"Is he going to injure himself?" Lynn asks seriously, brows furrowing. "Because then I'm afraid-"

"It's not that, I don't think." She tries not to think that he might. If he keeps in this spiral, he might, yeah, but she doesn't want to think about that. "I just... You know it's hard for those guys to be vulnerable. And we've gotta..."

"We have to encourage it, not mock it," Lynn finishes for her, a serene expression taking over. "I understand. But why-"

"Just look."

She opens the conversation and thrusts her phone at him. He takes it quickly, either because of her force or her trembling hands. He looks over the messages, his eyes softening even further into a deep sadness as he realizes what JB is so worried about.

"I knew that type game was a bad idea," he whispers to himself.

"I don't think that was it," JB whispers back - she doesn't want him to feel like he has to be the one to blame. "I mean, the guys called it back then... He wouldn't wanna be with Pran, guy or no guy. I really don't think that's the problem..."

"Has he talked to you about this before?" Lynn asks.

"Not... Openly," JB admits. Damn her reputation. "But a couple of times, I'll make a comment. A joke. Like, talk about how much he hangs around Nate, talk about how close they are, stuff like that..." She swallows thickly. "I thought when he pushed me away then he was just being himself. He doesn't like admitting that he's attached to anyone, right?"

"Mm, you're not wrong," Lynn murmurs. "But what are you asking me to do?"

Lynn has set the phone down, and JB can read the texts - upside-down though they are - from this angle.

_'Hey Eve I know you dont have a date so do you wanna be the third wheel for me and Jeremy'_

_'Fuck no'_

_'Cmon he probably wont even dance with me cuz hes a germapohbe, and you dont have anyone right'_

_'thx fr the reminder'_

_'???'_

_'like u dont make the most jokes about it'_

_'what'_

_'He doesnt like me. hell never like me. im not blind. i dont need your dumb offers. im prbly not even going to prom anyway'_

_'why tho'_

_'like i said, we all know nates gonna be king. i dont need to see him dance with someoen else against his will and know hed still rather do that than dance with me'_

JB curls her hands into fists in her lap and she stares intently and the floor. It's better. Easier to look at than the digital proof of her friend's pain.

"If it's not that Nate is male," Lynn says, "then perhaps it is just because he does not think Nate likes him back. That is rather firmly what the last few messages seem to imply, after all..." He sighs. "But I can't possibly do anything about that. I can't make Nate return his feelings, and even if I could I doubt I could make Everett believe that he did."

JB swallows thickly. She knows that, she knows that.

And she's also sure that Nate feels the same. The two of them need to just get past their pride and admit it.

"...We're the only ones who use that particular meeting room, right?" she asks in a low whisper.

Lynn blinks. "Yes, we are..."

She nods. "Okay... Can you maybe organize an impromptu meeting? The night before prom?"

"For all of you?"

"I think it'd be easier to do that way," she admits. "Does anything in those texts look like he'd be willing to try anything alone?"

"...No, it doesn't. I'll do what I can, but I can't guarantee that everyone will show."

She doesn't even try to put on her mask like she had when she'd asked to announce her relationship with Jeremy. Back then she remembers saying something like, 'Oh, they'll come, they just won't admit that they were happy about it!'

Why can't it be easy to pretend when it's not her own feelings at stake if she's wrong?

"Maybe, but you can try, right?" she asks instead.

"Mm... But what will the reason be when they arrive? You have one ready to go, right?"

"Yeah." That, she definitely does. She thinks it will work, as long as she practices her mask a lot beforehand. "Normal time the day before prom, then?"

"That's right."

"Okay. Thanks, Lynn. You're the best."

Lynn shakes his head, his gentle smile making tears well up in JB's eyes despite herself. "No, JB, that's you. You're the one who brought this to my attention after all."

For the first time since coming to this school, JB lets down her mask outside of her room, and bursts into tears right there in the nurse's office.

* * *

None of the guys look happy about the meeting, but that's to be expected. She knew this would happen. That's why she practices, after all, that's why she manages her energy so carefully. If she's ever around anyone when she doesn't have the energy to be, it always brings her closer and closer to her thread snapping, to her mask falling when she's not ready.

Lynn knows now, but he'd sworn to hide it from the others if he could.

Still, she sees the pain in his eyes as she beams falsely at the other grumpy faces in the room. "Hello, everyone!" she greets. "What a wonderful day, a meeting when we didn't expect it!"

"That makes it a horrible day," Jeremy mumbles.

"I could be doing much more important stuff with my life, you know," Everett announces. "And, what the hell, Lynn, you gave us like an hour's notice this time! You usually at least set things up a day ahead, even with this impromptu shit!"

"Yeah, what gives?" Nate demands.

No, no, no.

Lynn is her friend, too, Lynn is her friend too!

"Guys, don't be mad," she insists, and then she lets out a laugh after. It's hollow, but maybe it sounds normal to them. She can't tell the difference anymore between the laughs she means and the ones she doesn't. "Or, hey, I'm the one who asked for this, after all. Be mad at me if you wanna get mad!"

Lynn's eyes widen when she says that. "JB-"

"You can't be serious!" Nate shouts. "You, again?! What, is this another relationship announcement?"

"I hope so, since that would mean I'd get off the hook," Jeremy says dryly.

Sting. Stab.

"Oh, come now, dearies. Can you blame her? She clearly has nothing better to do than insert herself so desperately into our lives," Bae points out.

"Hey, I'm glad for the chance to see all of you!" Shiloh says - but the words are emptier than her own are, and she knows it.

Stab. Slice.

Pran simply glares at her like she's threatened to murder Jeremy in cold blood.

And Everett - the one she's doing this for - is texting on his phone, looking as pissed off as he always does at these meetings. Not a word to be said.

Her smile has never felt faker in all her time at this school - including last week when she was with Lynn.

"Now, now, everyone," Lynn says, insistently trying to get them to stop ganging up on her. "Let's be nice, please. She was actually doing something nice here."

"Bullshit," Everett hisses.

She has to swallow back the knot in her throat. "Well, I know a lot of you guys aren't planning on going to prom, and most of you who are aren't going with a date... So I thought maybe we could hold a little, private prom. Here. Just us."

"Why would we want that?" Everett asks - it's less snappish, this time, though. He must be putting something together.

"There's a lot of expectations if you dance at someone at prom, right?" she points out. "But none of you are exactly the emotional type, even if you do wanna dance, so... I figured maybe this would be a good chance? You could dance with each other, or me, and it wouldn't have to mean anything except you just wanted to dance."

Realization finally clicks in Everett's eyes. But before he himself can say a word-

"I'm going to prom, and I know I'll have to dance then anyway, so I'm gonna go now."

Nate, the absolute worst person to leave, stands. "And just so you know, JB, this was a dumb way to get your boyfriend to dance with you."

It doesn't matter what anyone says after that. Maybe Jeremy agrees, says something about how this will finally make him dump her for real. Maybe Bae laughs and calls her 'twinkle'. Maybe Shiloh sticks up for her but doesn't mean a word. Maybe Pran just sits there with that normal detached look on his face.

She doesn't hear any of it.

She collapses to the floor, and loses her mask for the second time in less than a week.

* * *

She must have blacked out because she wakes up in the nurse's office, on the familiar hospital-like bed. She hears them talking but her eyes stay shut - she doesn't want to try and figure out what to do now.

Mask? No mask?

"I didn't think..." Nate genuinely sounds upset, and flustered. "What... Why'd she collapse like that? We've said worse stuff to her! You can't really be saying that that's what made her faint on us?!"

"Nate, I'm not saying that it's entirely your fault," Lynn says soothingly. "You didn't know. I only found out recently, so I don't blame you. I should have said something, in fact - she begged me not to, so I didn't... I didn't think she would..."

It sounds like she messed both of them up pretty badly with her little spell. Mask it is, then.

"What exactly happened?" Shiloh asks.

"Well, erm... Do you boys know how Shiloh likes to... 'Be nice'?" Lynn asks. There are a few murmurs, and he continues, "JB seems to do something similar. The difference is that she genuinely does care about her friends and she means almost everything she says in that regard. She simply thinks it's easier for her - and everyone else - if she hides all of her negative emotions behind humor. I don't know how this started, but it's obviously gotten so bad that it makes people view her as... Erm..."

"Dumb, self-centered and only focused on hot guys," Jeremy says. But there's something different about the bluntness than normal. She thinks maybe he recognizes that they're qualities something all of them regularly make fun of her for.

"Exactly," Lynn says. "And when people think this, they say cruel things. But since she thinks things are easier without her negative emotions, she pretends that those don't affect her."

"Is that why she has those weekends where she'll just stay inside for two entire days and not even text anyone?" Everett wonders. But he doesn't have to - that's the obvious answer.

"Yes. I don't know if you realize, but pretending to not feel any negative emotions generally drains someone. And the more she has to pretend, the more it drains her. The more something hurts, the more it drains her. The more she cares-"

"We get it," Nate snaps, obviously still upset over being the one to 'trigger' her sudden collapse. "So obviously she really was trying to be thoughtful with this... Private prom thing, then? Is that what you're saying?"

"Basically, yes. I can't go into all of the details, but she expressed an interest to me that she was worried about how some of you would be spending your actual prom night."

She hears a hum, and it sounds worringly like Everett's voice. "Is that so..."

Crap, he knows. She lets out a low groan and forces herself to sit up, trying to seem like she's just waking up. Her eyes open, and instantly sees all of them, staring at her with varying mixtures of concern and apology in their eyes.

Mask.

"Man, how long was I out?" she asks, giving her usual hollow laugh. "You're looking at me like I just sat up out of a coffin. Don't tell me I missed actual prom?"

She moves to stand, but Nate snarls, protective fury in his eyes. "You take one step out of that bed in the next twenty-four hours and I will barricade you in your room until graduation."

"That sounds nice, what'll you tell my teachers about my sudden vacation?" she asks, desperately clinging to the hope that her mask could be saved.

"I'll help him figure something out," Jeremy says flatly, and it shocks her enough that she can't think of a retort. She stares at him in some sort of blank shock until he scoffs. "I'm your _boyfriend_ , and you just _fainted_. Of course I'm on the side of the guy who wants you to stay in bed."

He has never called himself her boyfriend before. _She's_ said it, sure, plenty of times, but he's always been all mopey about their relationship and he'd never... Never actually...

Suddenly, she can't find it in herself to pick up her mask again. Not right away, at least. She can let them dote on her a little, right? Yeah, the self-centered thing she usually has totally goes with that. "Okay, fine. But I've got homework and stuff in my room-"

"I'll let the teachers know to give you an extension," Nate says flatly. That in itself is a shock, to hear of Nate Lawson giving someone _leeway_.

She must have really terrified him.

"Oh, uh. Thanks," she says softly. "Can, um, can one of you bring me my phone, maybe? I'll go crazy if no one's here to talk to me-"

"I will make sure and be here when you are awake," Lynn promises.

"I, uh... I'll go get your phone, too, JB," Shiloh says. He's obviously not sure where he stands with her, anymore. Now that her mask has fallen, he knows that she doesn't like the empty compliments as much as she pretends to. "Is there anything... Else?"

She wants to list a bunch of other things just to seem normal. But she shakes her head. "No, thanks."

Shiloh nods, and he scurries off back to the meeting room.

"I'm gonna go talk to the teachers about your work," Nate says. "What about you guys?" he asks, looking to the other four.

"I'm staying here," Jeremy says, firm and resolute in his choice. His voice is flat and dry as it always is but there is no mopey resignation, no hint that he's being forced to - he wants to. "For a while, at least."

Pran seems to consider something, staring at her intently. "...You mean the things you say about your friends."

She blinks. "Well, yeah."

"Then you meant it when you said my art is good. And that you would like me to sketch you."

"Oh, well, yeah, but the lighting is horrible and I'm not wearing makeup and-"

"I'll work with it," Pran says. And he's already out the door, presumably to get his sketch supplies. It almost makes her laugh - a real laugh, too, not the hollow ones that she passes off as real.

"I'll go fetch you something to eat. It's been quite a while since you fainted, and you haven't even eaten since lunch, either," Bae says. And then he's out the door, too.

Jeremy's already pulling up a seat next to her, and Nate looks at Everett, who's still trying to decide on what he'll do to help her.

"...You did this for me," Everett finally says.

She freezes. Lynn freezes. Nate just looks confused and Jeremy ignores him.

"I... Um."

"Fuck," Everett whispers, lip curling in annoyance and disgust. "If I thought you'd fucking collapse over it I'd have just come as a damn third wheel! I wasn't even thinking when I sent that, I just wanted to..." He trails off. She thinks that even he doesn't know, now, why he'd sent those texts. Her mask usually would have allowed her to meddle in this way too, and without the fainting spell to boot.

Did he want her to meddle? Did he want her to make him do something other than stand still and watch as Nate danced with her or Missy?

She swallows thickly. "Um, hey, Nate, I've got something else I want you to do for me."

He perks up, unusually ready to bend in this situation. She absently wonders how long it might last. "I just... I'm not gonna be there, so obviously Missy's gonna be crowned, right? Well, she has a boyfriend, and I know Jeremy wouldn't have minded if I'd danced with you, but Aspen's another story. Maybe you can convince faculty that you and Missy don't have to dance _together_ , just... At the same time?"

Everett's eyes widen. Nate's narrow. "Even now, you're worried about your friend? When that's literally what got you-"

"Nate, please," she insists. "I mean, it'll make you feel better, too, right? Especially if you get the faculty's permission first! You'll get to dance with someone you choose, Missy gets to dance with her boyfriend, and no one can complain if the staff say it's okay so you don't have to worry about people holding up the prom or anything!"

Nate sighs, and softens, but he still doesn't seem to understand. "Fine, but I don't know who I would ask. I'm not in a relationship like you or Missy so-"

And here's her card for Everett, the 'you can't be mad at me right now' card. "You could ask Everett."

Everett lets out a shocked yelp, but he doesn't genuinely seem upset. Lynn seems impressed, and Nate is thoughtful. "Yeah... I guess I could do that. You okay with that, man?" He asks it as if he didn't notice the sound - maybe he didn't, actually. He seems hellbent on not noticing Everett's feelings thus far.

"Oh! Yeah, uh, I don't mind! I was thinking of going anyway, I guess, so, yeah, sure."

"Cool."

Nate walks off, then, with his list of things to talk to faculty and teachers about. Everett glances at her, a fond smile that she's never seen him with. "...Thank you," he says. And it's full of meaning, unlike those forced-out 'thank you's that are given out at the birthday meetings. Her own smile feels a little more real this time.

And then he's gone, too.

Pran and Bae and Shiloh all come back soon enough. Shiloh gives her her phone and scurries off again. Bae stays longer, making sure that the meal he brought is to her tastes. She takes a few bites before she convinces him to leave. Pran stays the longest, choosing to sit next to Jeremy as he sketches her. Jeremy doesn't seem to mind it, nor does Lynn, who both stay even after he has gone - leaving the sketch on Lynn's desk as a silent token.

She and Jeremy fall asleep there in the office. Lynn wakes Jeremy up and tries to make him go to his dorm, but he's actually pretty stubborn about leaving. It's a sight, really. She'd never known her boyfriend could have a defiant bone in his body, and here he's acting almost like a pint-sized version of Pran.

Lynn finally convinces him to leave by agreeing to come back early tomorrow to let him in again. She almost opens her mouth to ask Lynn not to force himself, but Jeremy is already gone and out by the time she tries to force any words out. Lynn notices her shock at his behavior - at all of their behavior - and looks at her gently.

"You know, I don't know if you've noticed," he says, "but they all care about their friends as much as you care about yours. I think they just didn't realize you didn't know that they thought of you as one."

She curls her hands into the fabric of the blanket that's been thrown over her - more of a sheet than a blanket, really. "I..." She knows she _pretends_ to know that. But the pretending is gone now, and it will take a while before she'll be able to make anyone believe it again if she even tries it.

Lynn understands, and nods. "I'll see you tomorrow, JB. As will everyone else, I'm sure."


End file.
